relationship anarchy

Relationship anarchy : otherwise known as the relationship structure that defies all others. Relationship structures can take on many shapes and forms: for instance, monogamy can be relatively straightforward – there is only that “one special someone.” Ethically non-monogamous relationships have their own specific structures too – some require prioritizing one person over another, but others not so much. Relationship anarchy, however, doesn’t quite fit into one structure or the other. What is relationship anarchy? Is there a difference between relationship anarchy and polyamory? What is the relationship anarchy manifesto? How does relationship anarchy work? What is a relationship anarchy smorgasbord? Is my attachment style compatible with being a relationship anarchist? Do you know your attachment style? Take our attachment quiz and find out now – fast, easy, free. Relationship anarchy is pretty much as its name suggests – it has no definable rules. Relationships within this structure are fluid, and therefore have no solid differentiation between sexual, romantic, or platonic relationships. While relationship anarchy has its own definable philosophy of love [2,3], it can still be connected to the concept of sexual anarchy. The definition of sexual anarchy is, essentially, a challenge to the definitions of men and women in society, targeting the unspoken rules of behavior among them [4]. That is, perceptions such as that women should stay at home while men go out to work for the family. In contrast, relationship anarchy aims to challenge both the gender and relationship norms that still exist and pervade through many cultures. Relationship anarchy is considered to be a type of polyamory – or at least a radical version of egalitarian polyamory. That is, both forms of relationships involve intimate or romantic connections with more than one person at a time. However, the main differences between polyamory and relationship anarchy are twofold. First, while polyamory is an umbrella term for certain forms of ENM relationships, relationship anarchy has its own clear-cut structure. Second, and perhaps most importantly , relationship anarchy rejects the idea of a “romantic sex-based relationship hierarchy” [2,5]. The social norm for typical romantic relationships dictates that the main difference between platonic friends and romantic relationships is the level of commitment and duty towards one another – and also the lack of a sexual component with the former. For these reasons, when one partner is sexually intimate with somone that is not their partner, this is more often than not considered cheating. In 2006, Andie Nordgren published the Relationship Anarchy Manifesto [3], proposing a new viable relationship structure. The main tenets of relationship anarchy, according to Nordgren’s manifesto, are the following: This second tenet defends that each partner in a relationship should not compromise their own choices and way of living for the sake of the relationship. According to relationship anarchy, such compromises for or demands on each other reflect a partnership that is not based on the true meaning of “mutual.” The eighth tenet highlights one of the most essential components of any healthy relationship – communication. Recognizing relationship anarchy as a radically different experience to the normative relationship ideal, its proponents have to create the habit of communicating sincerely and explicitly. This is also a great way to avoid falling back into the relationship norms that relationship anarchists run so starkly away from. Acknowledging that each individual within this type of relationship may have a completely distinct way of life and share different types of commitments and connections with one another, requires space and understanding. So when someone is feeling overwhelmed, or just needs to withdraw for some personal space, their wishes need to be encouraged or talked through for mutual understanding. This